Working Out ...with reluctance.

Wednesday, Mar. 17, 2010-1:44 pm
Working Out

~Call it vanity? Perhaps. Call it "pursuit of health"? Perhaps. Call it that Darwinian drive to sustain attractiveness and reproductive success? Absolutely accurate , although academic biology may be the very last thing on my mind , motivating me to work out regularly.

I am grateful that I actually enjoy exercise. It just takes care of itself.

Society is so fueled by the pursuit of pleasure, that for a lot of us, it is unnatural to defer gratification for an hour , engaged in sweaty exertion, when you are not going to see instant results.

Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. "Never leave that till tomorrow", he said, "which you can do today." This is the man who discovered electricity!! You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why people put things off that are good for them, but if I had to guess, it is because change comes too slowly , too marginally . Visa and Mastercard have killed the notion of waiting for anything. Deferred pleasure has been eradicated from modern society.

Since , in my previous career I was a personal trainer and a dance instructor, it has always been my desire to make Stepmother J. exercise. Last month I had a free 1 week pass and there was a 2 -for -1 family sign-up deal going on at my gym . I was about to sign my daughter up, I figured it would 'kill two birds with one stone' if J. joined too. (In her case, the bird metaphor is too mild...It is more accurate to say : 'kill a badger and a rhino'. )

Here are some snippets of the unfavorable comments she made:

"Im gonna tell you once: I refuse to commit to a contract"
"These people are so vain!"
"It smells of B.O. and rubber in here. I hate the smell of B.O.....and rubber"
"I cant stand being around all these people"
"my ball smells" (referring to the big exercise ball.)
"I am the fattest person here and I don't like that"
"Where's the juice bar? isn't there a juice bar?"
"They don't have the stock market ticker tape on any of these TV s and that Is a deal breaker for me"
(my daughter said "but the market has already closed . Why do you have to watch that right now?")
"There are no private changing rooms. I refuse to be seen in my underwear in front of people"
"It is too long a walk from the locker room door to the Pool"
"I could do this on my treadmill at home for free .. I'd just have to tell your father to take all that laundry off it"
"I am very disappointed" (as she handed me back the pass)
"I'm starving! A workout makes me hungry"

It's funny, but the things she never complained about, were the very first things I notice: This includes suburban retired guys who have out-of-control goatees or dyed black hair and wear dark navy dress socks pulled up to their knees with their Nikes. With stretchy bike shorts. Just to begin with. :-) Good Lord ! (But I am out of line. Who am I to judge fitness fashion? ? I have a few old pairs of pastel colred high top Rebooks in my attic , with matching spandex leotards, straight from the 80's.)

We headed out for: Breakfast (a.k.a. Death by pork).

We went to the House of Pancakes. I don't want to sound judgemental, but.... She had The Lumberjack Slam --

(Why is the word 'lumberjack' synonymous with a huge breakfast? I get that I�m supposed to be reminded of a massive, ax-wielding man fueled by large portions of food, but that is seldom who orders that!)

Two pancakes, two eggs, two sausage links, two bacon strips, a grilled ham slice, home fries and buttered toast -- plus coffee with a sweet and low . This supplies at least 1,300 calories, 3,000 milligrams of sodium, and almost twice the amount of cholesterol the FDA suggests you ingest daily.

So next time J. heads into the Forest , she may want to tote a defibrillator and some nitro glycerin along with her Lumberjack ax --
or just go with lighter fare , like perhaps consider the fruit plate ???? mmmm-kay?

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