The Bra

Aug. 26, 2007-12:09 am
What does a man think when a real estate broker, with whom you have had a little ongoing flirtation during your last few meetings, shows up at the next appointment in a wet t shirt, no bra and her breasts all oiled up? What kind of message is that? hmmm?
5:15 p.pm
I had made a last minute appointment to show more property to my "Business Appointment Guy" at 6:30 . I had on a Victoria's Secret Miracle Bra that I recently bought and a t shirt with pants. I reconsidered the look . I decided that my Victoria's Secret Miracle "turbo bra" was creating too much cleavage for this meeting. My breasts were almost ratcheted up to my chin for God's sake. Had I known I was going to be meeting him, I may have worn something different.
I came up with the bright idea to pull out the gel push up pads. They were sewn in. I decided to just tear them out.
5:20
I was alone in the office. I went down to the ladies room in the office and pulled at the stitches and yanked one out. So far so good. When I tried to remove the other side, it would not come out. Now I had one normal breast and one uber-breast. I got a pair of scissors and cut the push up pad out, being careful so I wouldn't tear the bra. The bra was intact but I punctured the pad, which turns out was not filled with water-based gel, but filled with an oily substance.
5:25 p.m.
It burst out all over my shirt, and a few drops landed on my pants.It created an oil slick on the floor. I took off the bra and shirt and tried to wash them with hand soap.
5:35 p.m.
I got the oily stains off my shirt ,and put on the wet bra and t shirt. I figured they would dry quickly enough. I put on an old ratty sweater I found in the closet and went back to my desk and did some work.
As the t shirt dried a little , I noticed that the fabric of the bra was still retaining some of the oil residue. Sweet Jesus!!! Now I had a damp t shirt with a greasy bra shaped outline coming through, and it's pink color very visible. I blotted it , I poured powder on it, I laughed at it,, I was exasperated.
5:50 p.m.
I took the bra off and washed the shirt again.
I had 50 minutes to let the shirt dry before he got to the office. 6:10 p.m. I was frustrated beyond belief. I was cursing under my breath "dammitt!!! I can't believe this!! " I was NOT going to able to meet him. You could see right through the t shirt without the bra. There was still some oil stains on it that I could see as it dried, making it cling to my flesh. It looked positively trashy.
I could not keep this sweater on. It was ugly to begin with, about 5 sizes too big, and it was damp and now it smelled like a wet dog.
There was no time to go buy another shirt, and even if there was, I'd have to go to a store in the wet t shirt..I was totally stressed.
Again I was grumbling to myself "This stupid damned bra! I hate Victoria's Secret. Why did this have to happen? " The phone rang. It was him. "Hell-o-o"..Suddenly my grouchy voice went up an octave to nothing short of 'adorable' and 'sex-kittenish', though Lord knows, a tad past the age of kittenhood. I did not know him well enough to tell what had really happened. I did not want to call any more attention to my breasts than necessary. I was so disappointed to have to say I was "tied up" and would have to reschedule. I was tied up alright: Tied up in my own idiocy!
This was not the first underwear malfunction from this lingerie set.
When I went to the mall and bought a baby outfit for my friend's niece's new baby girl I made a stop at Victoria's Secret , and that is when I bought a pink thong and the previously mentioned matching "Miracle-Bra". It promised to create a chasm of cleavage. Sounds good to me. I consolidated the bags, and left the mall.
I took out the lingerie purchases.
I filled the gift box with the baby outfit, and pink tissue paper. I wrapped it and added a ribbon . What I did not know was that I had accidentally lost the pink thong within the collection pink baby clothes. Imagine the proud moment I had when it was opened in front of everyone.
I guess that is one advantage to Marcia in my office, who wisely does not wear panties.

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