Wild Turkey

Wednesday, Apr. 26, 2006-12:11 am
I am a bird lover. Be they small and delicate, or huge and goofy-looking, I love them all. Three wild turkeys were standing in the middle of a busy road near my house. They were blocking the road and causing a traffic jam. I didn't want them to be hurt, nor did I want to be delayed. I decided to do the "right thing". I got out of my car to shoo them off the road. They just hissed at me. I returned to my car to get some "bait". I tried to lure them away with some cheetos my kids had left in the car. They ate the treat but then ran back into the road, expecting more of the tasty stale Cheetos to appear in the same spot. Wouldn't you think evolution and natural selection would have weeded out that sort of behavior and illogic? I kept trying to get them to move. Traffic moved slowly , one car at a time, past me and the ridiculous birds. Someone in a car that had been stuck in the traffic jam finally arrived next to me. He rolled down the window and screamed out "get out of the road and quit feeding those birds you f--- freak". I lost my cool. I yelled back "No, YOU SHUT UP!! You're the freak!!" With that message delivered, I gave up on the birds and went back to my car. I didn't feel anything like Ewell Gibbons of Mutual of Omamha that I used to watch as a kid.

go to the prior entry * +