"A little bit of soap"

Friday, Oct. 24, 2006-1:37 am
OK, it has "been a while" . I am fine with that. I almost live a life of a nun.(well, a nun that wears make up and wears thongs and drinks wine and watches the Sopranos) The point is , I do not have a need to carry a condom .

I DO however purchase soap on a regular basis. Hand washing is big in my household. I had a small round flat bar of soap in a plastic wrapper that I have with me in my wallet in case I need it, like for instance , at a gas station rest room. There was a case of mistaken identity at the office.

It has been so long since I have seen or thought about condoms, I hardly remember . That is why I never noticed it's resemblance to my soap until today.

The soap popped out of my wallet and fell to the floor at work. I picked it up and said

"Oh ,I don't want to lose this".

Marcy: "No kidding. You need to have one with you , cause you never know when you'll need to use it." She winked conspiratorially.

Me: (Thinking: "what the hell is she winking about?).

I said, " Yes, I'd don't want to be caught in a gas station or in a restaurant bathroom and have to use the kind they have in those dispensers".

Marcy: OOOOH!! If you're that lucky!

Me: You're crazy!

Marcy: Like a fox!

Me: I doubt it!

Marcy: You wish!

Me: Don't I ever!

Marcy: You and what army?

Me: STOP THAT!! What are we talking about?

Marcy: "Sex in public bathrooms of course.! You GO girl!!

She went on.... "You can't smoke in restaurants anymore, thank God they haven't outlawed f--cking in restaurants. HA! There would be a hell of a lot more sex in the ladies rooms if they all had condom machines."

She screamed out: " But REALLY honey: Who wants it so bad that they do it at gas stations??? HA! I can hear it now, ..'Hey Mr., yeah, you with the big pump. Filler up and top it off and make it fast. I have a reservation at a restaurant'!"

Me: "What ARE you talking about? This is not a condom. It is bar of soap!

big laughs

I put it back in my wallet, and as I did, Marcy saw the latex glove I have in my purse.

She said: "What is THAT?" I pulled it out and said, "I use this for when I go to the gas station . " She said " That gas station attendant must have the strangest penis!!" I said: "OK, This conversation is over. Isn't it about time for you to go do something trashy?"

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