Just a day, just an ordinary day.

Saturday, Aug. 02, 2003-8:22 am
Two nights ago a man was killed in the city, not far from my office. It was an unknown motive, a violent murder in a presumed "safe " area. I can't stop thinking about tha man, who had no idea when he left his home this morning that he was going to be killed. He had no idea that when he saw his children the last time, that he would never see them again..What were some of the things he might have said or done, had he known? To say "I love you " and mean it? To say "Thank you" and let someone how much he appreciated them in his life? To say "I am sorry", for the last time.

Last month a neighbor of mine lost a 1 year old baby from an abusive shaking incident at a daycare center..What would they do for just one more moment with that baby, that they would never watch grow up? .

For many of us, it seems the good life is going to begin as soon as some "goal" had ben attained. Our genuine life is just around the corner. But there was always an obstacle , something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, something to be served, a coveted item to be attained, a debt to be paid. Just a little more time, and then the good life would begin. At last , after having kids, I learned that these obstacles to my ideal life, and all the times in between, were the essence of my life. Those times of everyday life are good times. It is a GOOD life. And it is a short life.

We waste away many small moments that turn into larger periods of collective lost time. If we were to be able to comprehend all that time collectively, and string all those moments from end to end, we would be appalled at the significance and enormity of it, and we would long for the time that is now behind us, that we can never have back. .

I try to enjoy all of life, and to create a new vision of the things that I am unhappy about. I try to take adversity as a learning experience and a challenge to be embraced. Some days it all goes to hell and I find myself feeling impatient and annoyed at silly impermanent problems. Sometimes, though , there is a peace that saturates every aspect of my life. These days, I feel that peace more and more often, and I choose to call it 'normal".

When I don't find ways to enjoy the day as it has been presented , with all it's obstacles, , at least I can later reflect on it . I can always change my opinion. That is why writers revise. It can be like watching a beautiful vision from the small back window of the car as it drives on in the opposite direction. You can see all that did not go as you would have liked, and just revise it. There is a new day and a better attitute to be had, if we are lucky.

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