Dating: it's causes and it's cures

May, 2006-2:17 am
Our business attorney at the office, is "one of the girls" . She comes out with us to our monthly office dinners. She is a quiet sweet woman who is a great real estate attorney ,with an atypical personality that is actually a lot more naive than her professional compitence refects.

Where Maria or Marcia would go to work with thier wonder bra jacked up to thier chin, Denise would wear a button down blouse with a little lace collar.

She told us : "I want to marry... �the ONE." Marcia said: "And well you should, honey. How else are you going to get to "the TWO" and maybe even "the THREE"?

There is a man who continues to come to the office, and tries to talk me into going out with him. I have told him repeatedly that

"No, thanks, I'm not ready to date".

Some men think "no" means "maybe". He brought me a cute new address book with a sunflower on it, and in the book, under his name, it says, "call him for dinner.. often." A novel approach, but I need to decline.

~I am not comfortable with it. .(Ok , so it has been 1373 days since my last significant orgasm..SO???? Do you think I am I embittered and cynical about that?...Is THAT what you are accusing me of?)

On one end of the spectrum, there is Denise, and at the other is sex-o-holic Maria.

To listen to her conquests, you would be left with the impression that if you see someone attractive, you just go at it, with all the subtlty of a howler monkey in heat. She does not need a good reason to have sex, just a place. Try the jungle.

With all those men inher life, she is still very insecure. If she thinks she is being ignored, to protect her ego, she imagines an inventive scenario in which after the last time they saw each other, he had a heart attack and at that very moment was laying out with a flower on his lapel in a funeral home someplace...."

( Yes, He really DID want to call me! He must have just... DIED!!. Thank goodness. Yeah, THAT'S it...HE'S DEAD!)

Well, usually, just when one would think her ridiculous thoughts could not get more crazy, the phone would ring and it was HIM! ALIVE!

Or sometimes she would not hear from a man again. Ron was one of the ones that got away.

Communicable diseases have made the concept of sexual encounters with total strangers go completely out of fashion, and shouldn't even be considered.

However , inexplicably, Maria in the office says she never uses condoms. Ron brought one out on the first date just before they had sex. She said " Oh,wow, it's been a while...". His heart warmed , thinking she was saying "oh wow" about his anatomy and he was assuming "it's been a while " meant there was some exclusivity. He said " Sweetheart, how long has it been since you had sex?" She said " No ,No, not sex, silly! I had sex last weekend. I mean, I haven't done a man wearing a condom for a long time! "

(ouch!!!! poor guy...)" Then he apparently didn't last very long and she said " Honey, is THAT it????" ( poor poor Ron. I wonder how his therapy is going?!)

.She wondered why he never called. She didn't care much, because she said he was 'vanilla", which is the worst qualitative thing she could have said about him. He send a text saying "Happy Holidays". That was months ago.

Some women in the office will actually go out with a man just to get a "free" dinner at a nice place. I think that the amount of money spent on dating them is comparible to the bizarreness of the expected sexual acts that will be asked for later.

Determining the difference between money spent on a date with one of them , and prostitution is not a problem, as there IS no difference.      

 I am intimidated by the culture that says that the man customarily pays for dating expenses . (the exception to this is if the woman is uncommonly rich or ugly) Who wants to be indebted in any way to some guy that I hardly know , but agreed to go out with.

The office girls don't understand me at all, with the obvious exception of Denise.

Marcy says that the dating pool is shrinking...nothing to do with her age...She says there are not many men out there that are young enough for her(35) and attractive enough ( looking like Johhny Depp or better ), that she has not managed to previously date and/or marry (and therefore, subsequently alienate , thus making dating nearly immpossible.

Dating used to be planned weeks in advance and involved knowing people in common. Now, there are no ritual formalities.

{ In fact some of Maria's dating is planned the next day . I.E. : you get the call from Maria who says "if anyone asks you, I was with YOU last night, O.K.?" Then Mr. Insanity #1 storms into the office and demands to know if she was lying when she said she was with me. An hour later Mr. Insanity #2 sends flowers...}

It is not just the actual social event. It is the uncomfortable conversations hat people have to have when the topic comes up about the possibilities of future intimacy that may follow .

To observe the behavior of people in my office you'd assume you don't get communicable diseases from sex you had to wait for, for more than 2 dates, especially from a really attractive person. ..ha!

.. I for one , am going to be prudent. Excuse me while I go stand a few feet away... from everyone.

.. "Most people are better imagined in your bed than found there in the morning" P.J. O'Rourke

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