The doctor will see you now.

Sunday, May. 04, 2003-2:03 am
I spent the better part of my youth baking in the sun like a barbeque pig on a spit.

To be tanned, was the most coveted thing in my life. Now, I pay the tarrif, as I have been told that I need to watch my skin for sun damage and potential skin cancer.

I've got an upcoming regular appointment with the Dermatologist. I'm just a little nervous because I was recently re assigned to a new dermatologist by my health facility and insurance plan. I have my first appointment with him tomorrow.

That's right. With H-I-M . This will be a first. Since I was 16 yrs, old, and had a very uncomfortable experience with a male doctor , it's always been a female for me. But tomorrow, I have my first appointment ever with a Male Doctor .

The thing is, I can get past the male factor, from the professional aspect.. The thought of any impropriety occurring quite frankly doesn't even cross my mind as a viable worry.

No, My dilemma is, among other things... whatever will I wear?

Because it's a fine line I'm walking here, folks. There will be a consultation in the outer office before the examination. I don't like to be dressed too casually for any professional appointment. With a full body exam, you are standing in your underwear in front of the doctor. I don't want to wear a thong, or I'll get this stupid, totally unrealistic "read his thoughts" dialogue in my head, fearing he is thinking such things as "Hey, you look niiiiice... ". "AL-RIGHT!!! A thong gal! YES!!!"

On the other hand, I don't want him thinking I'm a complete slob who can't be bothered to look tidy for a doctor appointment. With my previous (female) doctor, I never gave it a thought, but now I'm obsessed.

Having your MD form any opinion about your body besides, " you're good for another year" is not something most women want.

What you do NOT want to think about is your MD forming a personal qualitative opinion, whether good or bad, , which might include internal mutterings such as:

"When was the last time this one shaved her legs? This stubble is taking my skin off. Either shave or don't, but this is killing me"

"Those panties are just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. What the hell is holding them up? Because that elastic has been gone since the 60's!

"She says she used to teach aerobic dance. She must have left that saggy butt behind the studio door while she taught."

I know. I'm being silly. Because of course this guy is a PROFESSIONAL, and would never think any of those things.

But I'm a little nervous. I am guessing I'll look back at this and feel like a complete buffoon. But for right now...

I think I'll at least plan to shave my legs and wear matching underwear with a full bottom, but not the ones with overstretched elastic, from the Nixon administration.

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